iHurt
by Missuss
Summary: After iLove You Seddie seemed to be over, but when Sam ends up in a sticky situation and Freddie has fallen back, or so it seems, in love with Carly, how will Sam get the help that she needs?
1. A Night To Remember

**iHurt**

I stand there with my hands in my pockets, not really able to say anything as the elevator makes its way down to the ground floor. The tension in the air is enough to make me break in half… the way Carly talked about Spencer's relationship just made me wonder… What am I doing with Sam? I love her, and I have a strange feeling in my gut that I always will, but something just feels so wrong. Something about this moment in time just hurts.

I watch Sam out of the corner of my eye as she shifts her weight from one side to the other. Finally, as per usual, Sam takes charge of the situation. She leans over and pulls the brake on the elevator, bringing us to a lurching stop. She looks at me for a moment or two, leaning on the corner of the small elevator car. "So," she starts, shifting her intense blue eyes without meeting mine.

"She wasn't talking about us," I tell her.

Sam shrugs, nodding ever so slightly. "I know," she replies. I shift my eyes down to the floor, unable to look at her anymore. "But," she says after a while. "Do you think you and I are taking some connection we have and…"

I look at her, gulping down the truth. "And trying to force it into a boyfriend girlfriend thing?"

Sam nods, wringing her hands. "Yeah."

"Well, I mean," I sigh, hooking my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans. "I don't know, it's like, after all the years of being, like, at each other's throats… you kissn' me… that night at school... it was pretty… intense."

Sam turns her head sharply towards me. Half of me expects her to take a swing at me, but I stay perfectly still. "Hey," she huffs. "It put me in a mental hospital." I shake my head, biting back a laugh. "So," Sam says after a quick pause. She tilts her head back, looking at the ceiling. "The kiss was… just… intense?" she looks at me, rolling her head across the wall.

"And fun," I smile back at her.

Sam lets out a loud huff of air before pushing herself into standing position. "Yeah," she says unenthusiastically. "I'm just not sure if you and me really click… that way."

I nod, biting back the initial hurt that comes along with her words. "Yeah," I say. "But," I shrug, trying to sound cheerful. "Maybe one day if you get a little more normal-"

"Or," Sam cuts me off. "If you get a little more _ab_normal," she stifles a laugh. I shake my head and lean against the wall again. Another pause runs between us. "So, did we just break up?"

"Feels like it," I murmur. Sam nods. "But, it was mutual, right?" _Biggest fucking lie of my life._

"Well, yeah," Sam smiles. "But I'm still going to tell people I dumped your butt and broke your nerdy little heart," she says dryly.

"Fair enough," I smile.

"Oh well," Sam sighs before leaning forward and releasing the brake.

The elevator springs back to life, sending us to the ground floor of Bushwell Plaza. We stand in complete silence the whole ride down. I glance at Same every once in a while to find her leaning against the same wall as I am with her arms hanging loosely by her sides and her blond curls resting against her shoulders. I can't imagine anyone appreciating this girl like I do… other guys just won't see how truly amazing she really is. I've dug deep to learn this whole new side of Sam… the loving, gentle, nonviolent side. The elevator door lifts over our heads, bringing us back into the real world. Sam is the first to start to leave, wobbling slightly in her heels. I adjust my shirt nervously, not sure what to say at this point. "I love you," I get out.

Same stops in her tracks. I come up next to her with my hands in my pockets. She turns slowly; a hidden smile is forming on her lips. "I love you too," she says softly. I look down; an unintentional smile of triumph appears on my face. When I look up Sam is already leaning in, and as if it were second nature to be kissing Samantha Puckett, I grab her waist and pull her in for a kiss.

She still has her hands on my shoulders when we pull away. I pull my pear pad out of my back pocket and glance at the time. "It's only ten thirty…"

Sam shrugs. "Wanna break up at midnight?"

"That works," I nod, smiling. And just like that we're back in the elevator souring back up to the iCarly studio. I take Sam's waist kissing her hard on the mouth… this might be the last time. Unless I become abnormal I guess. I taste every bit of her. The taste is somewhere between candy canes and barbeque sauce. I smile at the taste, making her laugh into my mouth. My hands travel up and down her back, making her push towards me further.

By the time the elevator comes to a lurching stop, we're in between kissing, hugging, laughing, and just plain hanging on each other. It's like we're on drugs or something. Our laughter is whole hearted and loud. Well, happiness is a good enough drug for me.

Sam steps into the studio with me close behind. I trail her like a love sick puppy. It's a little embarrassing, but with Sam as my only witness, I'm right on her heels. She plops down on a beanbag and I join her on the one next to her. She sits there for about a half a second before she rolls off of hers and onto me. I smile up at her as she straddles my thighs. Sam leans in, a goofy smile plastered on her lips. Adrenalin is pumping through me as I capture her again, her hair is brushing up against my shoulders and cheeks. I can taste her, smell her, feel her… but it isn't enough.

I grip her back, pulling her as close as I can to me. We might as well be melting into each other, but I still didn't feel close enough. I was about to pull away, to whisper something romantic in her ear like good boyfriends do at times like this. But before I get the chance, the button of my pants pops. I look at Sam right in the eyes. She looks back at me, and she's about to lose it. She bites her bottom lip and her eyes shine with laughter. _Oh God_, I think, my cheeks burning a firehouse red. _I know I've put on a couple pounds… but mom said it was muscle. Th-this is insane! I mean what the hell? _

My zipper comes down, cutting through the silence in the room. I stare at Sam. _Damn pants._ I watch her with my mouth hanging wide open like an idiot. Sam leans in, slipping her tongue into my open mouth. I shiver, not sure what's happening. Sam should be laughing, hitting me, _something_! But here she is… loving me. _Me!_

"Don't be an idiot Benson," she murmurs into my ear. I stifle a laugh, not entirely sure what she means. Sam, sensing my confusion sits up. She studies my eyes for a couple minutes before stripping her jacket. She watches me again. I shake my head. "Wow," she laughs, looking at the ceiling.

"I can't deifier everything in your head Sam," I smirk. "Only sometimes."

Before I can blink Sam has both ends of my flannel shirt in her hands and rips her arms in either direction. Little white buttons fly all across the room. Some of them land on my cart, some in the car, and others in just various areas of the wood floor. My shirt flutters open, revealing my bare chest. I stare at the buttons for a long time. "My buttons," I murmur. I look at Sam who has a wary look on her face. "I'm cold."

"I'm sorry," Sam says softly. "I thought… I thought when you said you loved me you meant-"

"Oh," I say, my mouth feeling dry. _Sh-she thought… w-we… Oh my God!_ I look at her for a long time. "I-I mean… if you… I mean, if we… no… I don't know."

Sam sighs, standing up. She starts to make her way towards the elevator. "I'll just leave," Sam whispers, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. The gears finally start turning and I spring up and get between her and the elevator door. She stops, looking at me. Her eyes are brimming with tears and her cheeks are flushed. She thinks this is it…

I take her hand, rubbing my thumb over hers. I watch her for a while, looking at her watching the floor. A tear falls free, landing on the floor with a soft splat. I bite my lip, watching her watch the floor. "Sam," I whisper. She doesn't look at me. "Sam, I'm sorry."

"No," she mumbles. "I'm sorry… I thought it's what you wanted."

"It is," I say without thinking. She looks at me long and hard for a full minute before she takes a step closer to me, our bodies right up against each other. Sam still watches me while she brings her hand up gently, running her fingers through my hair. I shiver under her touch.

I would continue this passage of love and falling head over heels… but that would make it a bit… messy.

**~And that, my friends, is the end of Seddie... PSSH just kidding! :) Hope yall enjoyed now review! (If yall didn't know, and for future reference, I do not, by any means, own iCarly!)**


	2. Moving On

**iHurt**

I sit back with my hands behind me head. A grin is plastered to my face and I can't seem to remove it. Sam lifts her head from my chest and watches me; her breath is heavy and sweet. I sigh, watching her blue eyes reflect the dull moonlight outside. The room is pitch black besides this dismal light. I lift my head off of the floor and kiss her cheek. She laughs, hitting my chest.

"Hey!" I laugh.

"I can't be going soft on you Benson," she whispers, making me laugh again. Sam sighs, checking her phone to illuminate the time. _11:54_. I sigh, watching the time. We were supposed to break up at midnight… but is it worth it? Worth the pain? Sam sighs too, rolling off of me and towards her clothes. She slips on her underwear, jeans, and striped shirt. She runs her fingers through her disheveled hair before turning to me. "You just going to lay there?" she asks, throwing me my jeans. I shake my head and slip them on after my boxers. She bites her lip, handing me my buttonless shirt. "Sorry."

"It's cool," I shrug, slipping on what's left of it. "It was worth it."

Sam and I sit there, taking in the moment for a long time… six minutes to be exact. When those six minutes of our relationship is up, Sam turns to me slowly. "Goodbye Freddie."

"I love you," I whisper, watching her make her way to the elevator. She simply nods, watching the doors open. And just as fast as Sam came into my life, she left it. I lay there, right on the floor for a long time. Eventually I pull myself up, turn on the lights and clean the place up before Carly came up the next morning. When that's finished, I ditch the elevator and head for the stairs since walking through the Shay's apartment would be a faster way to get home.

I stumble down the stairs, trying to gather up my emotions before I face my mother. I round the corner and face the Shay's living room. The kitchen light is on, but I don't really care. It's probably just Spencer… he won't care. "Freddie?" Carly's voice asks.

"Carly?" I turn to her, a little baffled. "What are you doing here?"

"Um, I live here," she crosses her arms. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I-I went upstairs for some… some… potatoes?" I gulp. _Potatoes?_ "Yeah, my mom didn't have any potatoes and you know how much my mom loves them-"

"Where's the potatoes?" Carly crosses her arms, cutting me off. I frown, looking down at my shoes with my hands firmly in my pockets. I hear Carly sigh and her light footsteps as she comes closer to me. She puts a delicate hand on my cheek and I unintentionally lean into its warmth… its affection. Something that I'll be doing without for a while. My breath hitches… I just need to forget we ever went out. Sam and I obviously just don't work… "What happened?" she asks.

"Me and Sam… Sam and I broke up," I look at her, her brown eyes are only inches from mine. I study her expression. She almost looks… relieved? Carly lets out a loud sigh and nods. "That's it?" I ask her. "No words of wisdom, no sorry… nothing?"

"I'm not sorry," Carly shrugs.

"What do you-" Carly plants a kiss right on my mouth. The sensation that runs through me is amazing, energizing. Sure, I've kissed Carly before, but this time it felt whole hearted. Not just to make me feel better. Carly used to take advantage over the fact that I liked her so much but now… something just seemed different. She tasted like mint… I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her in. She smiles against me.

I pull away, breathing hard. I still have Carly's waist in my hands as she watches my expression. "I-I-I don't know what to say," I tell her honestly. I have just done the deed with Sam and now I'm kissing Carly. Sure, Sam and I were done but it almost seemed like I was cheating on her.

"We'll wait a week to tell Sam," Carly says knowingly, caressing my cheek. Her touch makes my breath hitch again, her touch calming my nerves. I nod without thinking and Carly smiles. "Until then," she grins deviously. "You and I can just…" Carly brings me in again, taking complete control of the situation.

I pull away again after a couple seconds. "I-it's late," I whisper. "My mom's going to have a stroke if she finds out that I'm out this late."

"But I'll see you tomorrow, right?" she asks. I nod solemnly, not making eye contact with her. I let go of her and making my way towards the door. "Freddie!" Carly calls, rushing over to me. "I love you," she whispers, right up next to me. My whole body tenses up.

"Yeah," I nod, gulping down all the guilt. "You too." I don't know what's wrong with me… I just couldn't say it. To make it to Carly, I kiss her lightly on the forehead and give her a half smile before opening the door and stepping out into the hallway. As soon as I'm out of sight, my shoulders slump and my mouth gets all dry. I love Sam… but I'll be dating Carly in a week's time. And in the meantime… I shiver.

"Freddie?" I hear my mom's voice coming down the hall. She was coming home from playing Bunco with other ladies in the building. As she comes closer and closer to me, her features become less and less angry and more and more worried. I just watch her. "Fredward? What's wrong honey?"

Tears suddenly spring to my eyes. "Mom?"

"Freddie, tell me what's wrong," she says, grabbing my head and stroking my hair in that protective mommy hold. "Your cold, are you okay?"

"I think I'm going to throw up," I mumble, my eyes going wide.

"We all feel that way sometimes in life," she says, holding me closer to her.

"No, really," I get out, hiccupping. My mom, being the protective woman she is, doesn't step away, she just turns me to face the plant outside that Shay's apartment, practically punches me in the gut to make me lean over and I lose it.

When I'm done, my mom pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the corners of my mouth before throwing that in the plant as well. "I know what will make you feel better," she grabs both of my cheeks. "I nice, _relaxing_, tick bath!"

I groan inwardly, but follow my mother inside.

**~Okay, well this is where Freddie's point of view end, and Sam's beggins! :D What do you think about Carly's advancment? Is it fair? Let me know in a review! **


	3. Ugly

**iHurt**

I look up at the ceiling when I wake up, with a stilled tear encrusted on the side of my face. I gulp down the initial sadness that comes with waking up another day without him. Its over… it's done. _Who cares about that idiot Freddork?_ Obviously… obviously me. I shake my head and wipe the tear roughly off of my face.

I get up slowly out of bed, looking back at Carly as she sleeps in. It's usually me, who sleeps in, but since it's been a week since Freddie and I broke up I can't seem to get any sleep. I groan, rubbing my eyes before making my way downstairs. I can hear, and smell, Spencer's cooking the moment I open Carly's bedroom door. I rush downstairs, eager to get my hands on whatever food he's got cooking. Especially with that smoky smell of bacon lingering in the air. My blond hair whips behind me as I run, ready to dig in.

"Carly?" Spencer's voice makes me stop. I can't explain why, but I don't want to think about my best friend. Something has been so off about her this whole week. She's overly happy, sort of like when she dated that Steven guy. But this time she won't tell me why, which was puzzling since we tell each other everything. "Hey Carly?" Spencer's voice asks.

"Yeah?" I respond in my best Carly voice.

"Are you doing something with Freddie today?" he asks. I feel like I've got a half pound of ham lodged in my throat. I suck in a big breath… _what does this mean?_ I haven't hung out with the two of them since before last week. What was Carly doing with Freddie? I shake the initial hurt, why do I care? Carly and Freddie are as great of friends as much as I am with her.

"Why would Carly be hanging out with Freddie?" I ask, coming all the way down the stairs. Spencer stares at me for a long time, before sighing and going back to making the breakfast of champions. Or, at least, that's what he called it. A huge platter of eggs, bacon, six tacos, and bowl of Jell-O.

"No reason," he mumbles.

"Why?" I hiss, pounding on the counter. Spencer jumps, holding the spatula like a fencing sword. I hold my hand on the counter in a tight fist, silence spreading out between us. "Is something… is something going on between them?" I whisper softly. Spencer doesn't respond, in fact, he looks more and more scared. "I won't get mad… I just need to know."

"Yes," Spencer gives up.

"Okay," I say gently, shocking him. I can already feel the tears building up in the corners of my eyes as I attempt to move towards the door and out of the apartment building. Spencer grabs my arm though, giving me a sympathetic look. "I need to go," I tell him, tears finally breaking through like an avalanche.

"I understand," Spencer says. "This whole thing is so messed up… I just hope you won't hold it against either of them. Their just kids."

"So am I," I gulp. "And I was never that lucky." I rip my arm away from his grasp, and wipe the tears violently off of my face even though they keep coming. At the last second I snatch some bacon and storm out of the apartment.

I take the stairs to the bottom floor. No one is at the counter when I pass, making me wonder how early it was… Never bothered to check the time. I open the doors and step out into the Washington rain. I'm soaked within seconds and shivering too. I glance up at the top of the apartment building. I sigh, not sure why I'm doing this… especially for a nerd who literally tore my heart to pieces.

I make my way to the side of the building. The ally is disgusting and full of sleeping homeless people. I look at them for a moment, but not with disgust… with sympathy. Pity. They're as alone as I am except without the luxury of a hot meal and friends… friends? Do I really have friends now? I sigh again, and grab the latter to the fire escape and pull it down low enough to climb up.

It took a while to get up to his floor, but it was worth it. Not only was I going to confront my biggest fears, but I was also able to get out all the sadness and frustration in the time it took to get up there. The rain drums on my back as I wipe the early morning condensation off of his bedroom window. I look in. I can see him sitting at his desk tapping a pencil against his forehead as he stares at a piece of homework, I'm assuming. I'm about to knock when I lose all of my nerve.

What am I doing? Don't be an idiot Sam, he's going to tell you exactly what Spencer told you! He's going to break my heart… but I need to hear it. I look up at the sky, letting out a frustrated breath. I glance at the camp chair set out on the fire escape, a puddle forming in the seat. I glance at the windowsill, sturdy and cement. A great place for a first kiss…

I shake my head, and without another thought I curl my fingers into a fist and knock on his window. At first, he doesn't look up; he just scratches the back of his head, making his brown hair stick up. I knock again, and this time he looks at me. His mouth forms a tight O, and he gets off of his seat slowly, his pajama pants dragging across the floor.

Freddie unlatches the window and stares at me for a long time. "Would you like to come in?" he asks, breaking the silence. His voice is cold, distant and formal. I nod, stepping into the room with his help. He closes the window behind me while I just stand there, dripping wet. "Do you want a towel or a change of clothes or something?" he asks, eyeing me warily.

"Y-yeah," I admit, my teeth chattering.

Freddie nods and heads to his dresser and pulls out a ratty sweatshirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants. "Bathroom's just down the hall," he gives me a half smile, holding out the clothes to me. I take them gratefully, and head down the hall. I don't hear his mom anywhere, so I just head right into the bathroom. Everything in there is a pure white and labeled. I laugh a little at the purple 'Fredward' toothbrush. I take off my clothes and slip on the warm clothes Freddie had given me. Everything is way too big and the pants feel like they're going to slip off of my hips, but I'm still grateful. They smell like him… feel like him. _Him_. I smile.

I step out of the bathroom, ringing out my hair. Surprisingly, a big puddle of water drops to the floor. I step over it and into Freddie's room like it hadn't happened. Freddie is back at his desk, but when I step into the dimly lit room he looks at me. "Why are you here?" he asks, getting right to the point.

I sigh, my shoulders dropping. "I heard the big news," I mumble.

"W-what?" Freddie fumbles, his eyes now alert and awake. "I-I don't know what you mean."

"Spencer told me," I tell him plainly, crossing my arms.

"Spencer…" Freddie looks like he's been slapped across the face. "Sam," he looks at me, regaining his posture. "It isn't like I don't care about you or anything… me and Carly, well, we just-"

"So you're back in love with her?" I ask him. He leans back in his chair, a thoughtful look comes across his features. He rubs the eraser of the pencil into his cheek and mumbles something under his breath. "What?"

"I don't know," Freddie stands up. "I don't know if I love her or not, it was kind of a big night for me!" I slap him across the face. Hard. He turns back to me, his hand on his cheek. "Ow!" he screams at me.

"You and Carly got together the same night!" I scream at him, tears reforming.

"I'm sorry," Freddie whispers, noticing his slip up. I nod, my hands balling up into fists. "Sam," he pleads. "Don't do this to yourself, it's going to be okay. Besides, what are the chances that me and Carly are actually going to stay together?"

"Then why are trying?" I ask, my voice rising. "Why are you trying to have a relationship with my best friend if it's a crap shoot chance anyways? What's in it for you?"

"Why does it matter?" he falls back onto his bed.

"It matters to me!" I scream, tears flowing freely down my face. Freddie sits up, watching me carefully. He's never seen me like this. "I-I know that we didn't work out," I get out hoarsely. "But why _her_?"

"I don't know," Freddie whispers.

"Forget it," I say harshly, my sadness turning into anger. I open his door swiftly and hop over the puddle and through his living room. Freddie stumbles off of his bed to follow me, but when he gets to the puddle I left in the hallway he slips on the wood floor and lands right on his rear. I hear him curse before scrambling back to his feet to follow me. I march through his door, across the hall and into the Shay's apartment.

_Why the hell did I come here?_

I spin around to walk the other way but I end up nose to nose with Freddie. I watch him for about ten seconds, holding my breath as I watch his brown eyes. I breathe sharply out of my nose and turn back towards the Shay's apartment and plop down on their couch. I can see Spencer cowering behind the kitchen counter.

"Sam, come on!" Freddie sits next to me, urging me to talk to him. "Just because me and Carly have a thing now doesn't mean we can't be friends. Besides, we have iCarly to do together. Let's just not worry about this, there's no point!"

"We have iCarly to do together," I repeat. "There's no point," I go on. I look at him for a long time before standing up. "Your right Freddie!" I yell. "There_ is_ no point! I quit iCarly!"

"Sam?" I look up sharply, watching Carly make her way down the stairs in tiny shorts and a tank top that shows off how super skinny she is. I unintentionally look down at myself. "Sam, what's wrong?"

I keep looking at myself, tears forming once again. I can feel Freddie grab my hand and rub his thumb over my palm like he always used to do. _Of course he likes her… she's skinny, pretty, desirable and me… I'm ugly._

_Ugly._

**~AH! D:**

**No Sam! Don't think like that! Welp, I'm sad :S**


	4. Just Drive

**iHurt**

My shoulders slump forward as I try to keep it all in… to be me, Sam. The tough girl. I look back up at Carly with a straight face, no emotion crossing my features. Freddie is still clinging on to my hand, and Carly stands on the second stair looking a little scared. I watch her with this dead serious expression and she lets out a long breath. "Sam?" she comes down the stairs and places both of her hands on the back of the couch behind Freddie's back. I watch the couple, both of them watching me.

"What?" I rip my hand away from Freddie, making him look at the floor. "What do you want Carly?"

"I want to make sure that you're okay!" Carly insists, pointing to her chest. "That's what best friends do… and they stick together too. Why am I hearing that you're quitting iCarly?"

"I have other priorities," I lie, shrugging my shoulders for effect. Carly's expression turns from sympathetic to angry like a flip of a coin. I can hear her growl under her breath. I steal a glance at Freddie who has his elbows on his knees propping up his head, and he stairs blankly across the room as he sits between us. "You know Carly," I laugh. "Not every little detail is about you. I mean, did you really think that I would always just drop everything to hang out with you. I mean, I just don't understand how you can be so… so _selfish_." I know it's all misdirected angry, but it feels good to let it all out.

"Selfish?" she screams, pounding her fists against the cusions on the coach. My jaw tenses as I stare at her. "How the hell-"

"I'm going to go," I whisper, cutting her off. I wait a couple seconds as Freddie looks up and Carly's expression goes blank. "It's been fun," I nod, turning on my heel to head for the door. I'm about to leave when I feel a warm hand on mine. I turn to see Freddie's worried expression watching mine as I grimace back at him.

Carly bounds across the room, taking hold of Freddie's shoulder. "Where are you going?" she asks gently. "Please don't leave."

"I'm not leaving," Freddie whispers. I can feel my heart crack as I gulp down the pain. It isn't the time to show that kind of emotion. For all they know, I'm a soulless monster. "I'm just going to walk Sam to the parking lot… just to make sure she's okay," he leans over and kisses Carly's cheek. She blushes a deep crimson, nodding her head.

Freddie gives her a half smile and leads me out the door. Once the door is closed, I turn to him sharply, ripping my hand away from his once again. "You can go now," I say, pointing to his apartment. "I don't need you to baby sit me. I don't need anyone to 'make sure I'm okay."

"Yes, you do," Freddie takes hold of my arm instead of my hand. He pulls me into elevator where I slump against the wall. "You know Sam," Freddie puts his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "I was just upset about us breaking up… but maybe this is for the best."

"I'm thinking of moving," I mutter.

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"Trying to make me feel sorry for you!" he yells. "You were never thinking about moving out of Seattle! I mean, where the hell would you go Sam?" he stares at me, and I stare right back, my eyes boring into his. I see him gulp, maybe fear. I feel like hitting him, calling him a nub; anything but all this seriousness.

"I want to get away from you," I grit my teeth. Freddie's features soften a little, making him look a little sorry. He thinks this is all a game… I want to run out of the building and never see Freddie's face again. I don't care if I love him or anything like that. Freddie has made his choice and now he has to live with it. Him dating Missy would have been better than this…

"Sam," he whispers, his voice sounding broken. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm done!" I yell, making him jump. "I'm done with you!" I poke him hard in the chest. "You stole everything from me! I wish that I had never met you! You stole all of my firsts and I would do anything to get them back," I steam. His expression is completely blank as he watches me, his body pressed up against the wall of the elevator. "I wish that I could have all of it back… so… s-so I could actually spend it with someone special. Someone who cares about me more than my best friend!"

The elevator doors open and I storm out. Freddie is right on my heels, apparently not shocked enough to stay put. I get about three feet until Freddie spins me around to face him. "I do care about you Sam!" he yells. "I always have! But we _broke up_!"

"So?" I look at him like he was the biggest idiot on the face of the Earth. Freddie shakes his head, breathing hard. "It was supposed to be us against the world Freddie… but I guess the world won. I hope that I'll see you again someday."

"Don't say that!" he yells desperately, wiping a tear violently off of his face. "Sam… you don't understand!"

"No," I shake my head, starting to back away. "_You _don't understand."

"W-what about your mom?" he asks as I keep walking away. "Melanie? Brad? Do you not care about how they feel? Go ahead and stomp on mine and Carly's heart, but they don't deserve it!"

"Let's keep in touch nub," I say softly, a fake smile lingering on my lips.

"Sam!"

I step out into the pouring rain; hail a taxi as fast as I can before zipping off into the gloomy city. "Where to ma'am?" the driver asks in a thick southern accent. I turn around in my seat, watching Freddie bound out of the building and into the middle of the street. I can tell by the look on his face that he can see me in the cab. He screams, yells, waves his arms around like an idiot, but in the heat of the moment, I turn away from him and meet the driver's eyes through the mirror.

"Just drive."

**~Well... :/**

**Hope you are all liking this story! Reviews are ALWAYS appreciated :) Interested to see what Sam's problem is? I bet you can already guess considering the first chapter... ANYWAYS, what would you have done in a situation like this? Let me know! :D**


	5. Sidewalk Splashdown

**iHurt**

"So darlin'," the cab driver says cheerfully over the sound of the radio. Giving that it was December, a happy holiday tune rang out through the vehicle. The driver taps his dark fingers on the steering wheel, looking back at me through the mirror expectantly. "What you runnin' from?"

"What are _you_ running from?" I cross my arms and slouch in my seat.

"I ain't runnin' from nothin' but life," he sighs. "Ain't got a penny to ma name. Thought I'd get a place of ma own someday but life jus' keeps knockin' me down. You know what I mean darlin'?" The man looks up at me again, a sad glint shining in his dark eyes. I gulp down the hurt and meet his eyes. I only then notice the deep scars in his face and callous on his knuckles as he drives through the darkening city. "Where we off to ma'am?" he clears his throat roughly.

"Can you just pull over?" I ask, my voice sounding small and weak. "I think I better just walk this day off."

He nods, pulling off to the curb. The car idles as I lean back in my seat, my hands over my eyes. "You know ma'am?" he asks, putting the car into park and turning around in his seat. "I ain't so smart, but I get people. I know all kinds of people from all different places. I get you ma'am… I get you," he smiles a crooked smile.

"I'm glad someone does," I grimace, taking my hands away from my face.

"Now you tell Crooks what's a troublin' you darlin'," he lifts his grey eyebrows. I don't know what it is about this man that makes me feel so safe, but I do. I feel a sense of comfort that makes me want to just and tell him every detail of my broken life. Maybe it's because he comes from the bottom of society where he doesn't belong, like me.

"I-I had a boyfriend," I mutter. Crooks nods encouragingly, silently urging me to continue. "He was that boy, who ran out into the street. His name is Freddie… well, I love him in all but he doesn't love me back anymore."

"Well, then he ain't much of a boy," Crooks sighs. "I also ain't know much about love neither, just enough to get me a wife and some chillin'," he smiles. "But one thing fer sure, he missed out. There's choices out there for everyone, and this boy has chosen to give no mercy to the fallen," he clears his throat and I dip my head low, unable to meet his eyes. "There's strong people and there's weak people… there's rich people an there's poor people. But everyone should make the choice to choose what is right in there own heart. And I don't see why that boy ain't lovin' you."

"I guess," I sigh. We sit in the cab in silence, both of us unable to find the words to describe what to do next or where to go. I don't even know where I'm going to go. Mom's out of town, Carly and Freddie are out of my life, and I really have no one else to turn to. I think about Brad or Melanie, or someone who could take in a refugee like me, but I shake my head. I would be a liar… I would have been too weak to leave Seattle just like Freddie said. I sigh, burying my face in my knees.

Without saying another word to Crooks, I climb out of the car, throwing a twenty on the seat of the cab. I see him look questioningly at the money, but I hide his face from my view with my hair and climb out of the car. Stepping onto the sidewalk, I'm hit with the light drumming of rain. Even though it's pouring outside, it feels cold enough to snow. Well, that's Washington for you, such a fickle place.

As I gaze up at the sky, wishing I could see the stars a blast of cold water hits me dead on in the face. This is ten times worse than Japan. Tires squeal against concrete on the slick road as a young man opens the driver side door, nearly getting hit by on oncoming car as he rushes over to me. Before he can get a word out, I sock him right in the jaw.

The boy reels back, totally caught off guard and lands with a thud on the sidewalk. "I'm sorry!" he cries from the sidewalk, simply lying there, holding his face him his face. "God, you're _violent_!" he screams. I roll my eyes and cross my arms as if I wasn't standing out in thirty degree weather soaking wet. "But I like it," he smirks, suddenly propping himself up on his elbows. I roll my eyes again. "Eh, never works," he lays back down.

"You do realize your lying on a public sidewalk," I say unenthusiastically. He spreads his fingers so that I can see his eyes, showing mock horror. "In _Seattle_! I mean, I bet more hobo asses have planted themselves right where your face is more than you can count!"

"Well, I can't count very high so lucky me," he puts his hands behind his head, looking very comfortable for someone who just got punched and is lying in the freezing rain on a sidewalk. Pedestrians, primarily holiday shoppers, pass us by giving us odd looks.

"That's it," I grit my teeth, pulling him by his arm into standing position.

"Ow, ow, ow!" he screams as I pull him. "I get it, I get it!"

"I'm glad you understand nub," I say without thinking. I gulp down initial hurt. He doesn't notice as he smirks back at me with his hands in his pockets. "You know," I say, trying to regain my posture. "It's not exactly _nice_ to drive through a puddle with someone just standing here."

"And 'it's not exactly _nice_' to slug a complete stranger."

"Touché," I murmur.

"_Anyways_," he rocks back and forth on his heels awkwardly. "I just wanted to say sorry and everything for the wetness… um, what's your name?"

"Sam," I say, not taking the hand he had offered for me to shake.

He very casually brings back his hand, running it through his hair as if that's what he meant to do all along. "Jake," he says softly. "Well, anyways, Sam, do you have somewhere to go? I could drive you."

"No," I shake my head. Jake looks a little relieved… maybe that he was getting rid of me. I don't think about what comes out of my mouth next, but it makes Jake stops dead in his track. "I have absolutely nowhere to go."

"For reals?" he turns to me. I nod my head and he checks his phone. "Well," he smiles. "I'll tell ya what; I'm going to finally have an excuse to blow off one of Nathan's keggers so that I can help you out Sam."

Without another word, Jake takes me by my arm and leads me out to his abandoned car that still sits idle in the middle of the street. I climb into the passenger seat right away, not afraid of adventure. Maybe this could be fun? A loud snore comes from the back seat and I twirl around to see another boy with light brown hair pushed forward on his head. He wears ripped jeans and a wife beater. I looks at Jake who is climbing into the driver's seat. Jake glances back and laughs.

"Who is that?" I question.

"That's just Nathan," Jake sighs.

"What about his party?"

"Maybe he wasn't invited."

**~Obviously there HAD to be a love triangle, right? :) Or maybe not..? You'll just have to keep reading :] If I guy/girl was lying on a sidewalk tying desperatly to flirt with you, what would you do? **

**Me: Defs not get in his car o.O**


	6. Fire, An Infinite Mind, and Rancid Ham

**iHurt**

I run my hands through my hair as I just lie there in my room, thinking about her. I glance at a picture of Carly on my bedside table, but she isn't the one plaguing my brain. Ever since Sam left last week, I just can't get a grip… I'm a mess. I can't eat, I can't sleep… I'm just so worried about her. I mean, I know that Sam is perfectly capable of taking care of herself but what's to say that she won't get into trouble. I smirk unintentionally… for course Sam is off running amuck. That's just what she does.

"Fredward?" I prop myself up on my elbows to the soft sound of my mother's voice. I would have never considered her voice to be ever soft or gentle… well, maybe the day that my dad left, but that's about it. She was always either frantic, paranoid, or rhyming. "Freddie, are you alright honey?"

"I'm fine," I lay back down flat on my back. I cover my face with my hands, starting to really feel the lack of sleep. Mom leans on the doorframe, her face looking sterner. I know that she knows that something's wrong… and it's killing her not knowing. It's killing _me_! I mean, why should I care if Sam walks out of my life, we broke up… but then again, we promised to love each other always. And that meant so much more. Why did I have to ruin it by agreeing to go out with Carly? Carly and I never even really go out, so what's the point? Maybe I should just break up with her… I mean, why carry on something that means nothing to me? Why should I give up the one that means everything to me?

I groan loudly, forgetting that my mom was still standing there. "Fredward!" she yells. I get up slowly, lumbering over to her with heavy feet. I get up right in front of her and she backs away, a little disgusted. I was a but disheveled, but nothing horrible. But then again, this is _my _mom we're talking about. "Freddie," she begins, taking a deep breath. "I need to know what is wrong because there is someone at the door… and I'm going to bunco and would rather tell her to leave."

"Who?" I ask, hoping she'll say something like 'that blond gutter rat.'

"Carly," she mutters, crossing her arms. Without another second going by, she grabs my cheeks and pulls me close so that we're eye to eye. "What is going on with my son?"

"Your son is just… confused right now," I murmur. Mom gives me an apologetic look before turning on her heels and heading for the door. She sound surprised as she opens the door to reveal Carly in all her glory. I give her a half smile as she comes through our cramped apartment to hug me. I squeeze her waist, taking in all the warmth I can get. "Hey," I sigh into her hair.

"Hey," she smiles, pulling away. Without a word, she takes my hand and pulls me into my room, closing my door behind me. I can hear my mom groan from the kitchen as she organizes all of our medications, cleaners, lotions, you name it; it's being organized and labeled right now.

"What's up?" I ask, falling into the chair that sits in front of my desk. I glance at the homework that's due on Monday, but I shrug it off. I still have Sunday. Carly sits on my bed with her legs crossed, giving me a wide smile. "What's the giddy smile for?" I ask, leaning back in my chair with a smirk.

"I found Sam," she says, in almost a whisper.

"I thought you didn't care about Sam anymore?" I ask, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms. Carly groans, rolling her eyes. "No, really," I say. "When she left you said you were glad."

"She's still my best friend!" Carly protests. "And she's yours to… despite the, you know, tension."

"I know," I look away from her. "So," I sigh awkwardly. "W-where'd ya see her?"

"It was the weirdest thing!" Carly yells, excitement rising in her voice again. "I was just walking around uptown Seattle looking for Christmas stuff for Spencer when bam! She's walking down the sidewalk with these two boys… she looks really happy. But," her voice drops. "When I said 'hey', she didn't even look at me. Not even for a second."

"Well, we really hurt her Carly," I remind her. "I was wrong to only wait a week before dating you… it was so wrong."

"But then again," Carly says, getting up and straddling my knees as she hovers over me. "Maybe it was just too right for Sam to understand." Carly leans in and as our lips brush against each other's, my dear old mother bursts through the door.

"I cannot believe how many stains you have in you jeans Fredward!" Mom yells, holding a laundry basket full of folded clothes. She takes her time putting them in my closet before she turns to Carly and I, both of us staring at her awkwardly. "Oh, Carly!" she says, smiling. "Spencer told me to send you home! Apparently something's on fire again!"

"Not again!" she groans, running out of my apartment. Mom smiles, evilly satisfied as she practically dances out of the room. I hold my head in my hands. Sam may be happy on her own, but I'm certainly not.

**O0o0o0o0O**

I groan, waking up another day on Jake's coach. I shake off that feeling of loneliness and that need to see Freddie and Carly again and grouchily make my way to the kitchen. I remember seeing Carly yesterday… I also remember the hurt expression she wore when I walked right on by with Jake on my right and Nathan on my left. Surprisingly, I thought it would be Jake that I got close to, but it turns out that he's always working. I barely even see him, but being a man of deals and bets, he requires me to look after Nathan during the day.

In the week that I've known Nathan, I've learned that he is sloppy, rich, and very literate. He spills everything on himself, always snapping his fingers and referring to me as his slave. I have to whip him with a dishtowel every once in a while to get him to shut up. He's also rich, which makes me wonder why he stays in his friend's crappy apartment. He has the means to live like a king. But I think the thing that annoys me the most about Nathan is his love for big words. He knows that he has you right where he wants you when he says something like, "The manifestation of the existential paradigm is infinitesimally larger than the exponentially evolved humanistic peon; indeed this precept is fundamentally beyond the cognizance of any finite mind."

"Hey, Nate,"

"Guten Tag," he murmurs, sipping coffee like the spoiled brat that he is as he scans the newspaper. I roll my eyes, pouring myself coffee and rummaging through the fridge to find a baggy of ham. I smile to myself, grabbing it and heading to the table to sit across from Nathan. "How are you?" he looks up, an eyebrow raised.

"Alright," I mutter, leaning on my elbow as I pick at the ham. Nathan shrugs, returning to what I can now see is a crossword puzzle in front of him. He's writing in sharpie and hasn't made a mistake yet. I sigh, watching him.

"I don't try to be gasconading, just perspicacious," he smirks, drawing a little smiley face in the corner of his paper as he finishes up.

"English!" I yell at him, making him spill his coffee onto the table and dripping onto both of us.

"Buncombe," he mutters under his breath. "Of course I was I was speaking English!" I give Nate a death glare, making him groan. Before I can ask, Nathan puts up a finger. "I don't know why I like talking like this," he sighs, his shoulders slumping. "It kind of makes me feel important. That private education had to be good for a no good bastard like myself."

"Oh," my lips form a tight o. I feel uneasy standing in the kitchen with Nathan now. Since I've meet him he's been nothing but arrogant and wordy… but now he's just sad. I feel my stomach do flips as I stand there… flips turn into dizziness and I'm suddenly leaning against the table, holding my head.

"You okay?" Nathan glances up from wiping up the coffee spill. I don't feel like I can answer him at all, but I give it a shot. But when I open my mouth, a sharp pain runs through my insides and I vomit all over the table, his hand, and the rag. "Wretched," he shakes out his hand, making puke splatter all over the walls. I can't hold it any longer. I cover my mouth and make a mad dash for the bathroom, for once thankful that I'm living with boys because the toilet seat is already up.

After less than twenty seconds, I feel a grip on my hair as it brings it away from my face. A comforting hand is on my back until I finish. Without a word between us, Nathan stands up as I slump against the wall, exhausted and drained. He rummages through the bathroom cabinets, pulling out a towel and mouthwash. I take it gratefully, just turning lazily to the side to spit the mouthwash into the bathtub.

"You coccydynia," he sighs, laughing a little before slipping one of his toned arms under my legs while the other loops around my waist. I'm lifted bridal style and carried to the couch. Nathan grimaces as my eyes feel heavy. "Rancid ham," he finally says, lumbering back to the kitchen.

**~NOW IS IT TOTALLY , PLAINLY OBVIOUS? ;D**

**Well, you wanted to see how Carly and Freddie are doing, and that's it! Carly's still oblivious that she did anything wrong, and Freddie's just a confused mess! Need a theasaurous to figure out what the heck Nate's saying? Don't worry, the more he gets to know Sam the simpler he gets :)**


End file.
